No thanks, Mommy, I peed yesterday
By Sandy Appleyard
Do you have kids? Do you sometimes want to send them to their bedroom until puberty? And other times, do you want to hug them until they burst?
What about those moments when they say something so innocent and incredibly cute or hilarious that you wish you had a pen and paper so you could remember it?
Well, that’s exactly what I did. My children have given my husband and I so many gifts, but the most precious has been laughter. I made a record of each funny or cute thing that they said since the moment they could speak.
It’s all here in this short yet unforgettable ‘Kids Say The Darndest Things’ style memoir.
No thanks, Mommy, I peed yesterday is a witty, side-splittingly funny comedy that can be enjoyed by both young and old.
The humorous comments, explanations, and kid-thoughts will stay with you for years to come!
Me: “You guys have to try to remember to turn lights off when you’re not in a room. That’s wasting money.”
Olivia: “Yeah and when we waste money that means less money Mommy and Daddy have to buy us toys.”
Victoria: “But it’s free when Santa comes.”
Approaching the door with groceries in hand, Olivia opened up the storm door and stood, waiting for me to unlock the inside, wooden door.
Olivia: “Mommy, how come we have two doors?”
Victoria: “That’s because Daddy’s really fat.”
Victoria was sporting a really cool pair of light-up shoes that she got for her birthday.
Victoria: “Mommy, are these shoes really cool? Do you wish you had a pair?”
Me: “Of course, I didn’t have shoes like that when I was a kid.”
Victoria: “Why? Because there was no electricity?”
Reading Victoria a story one day, she sat there so innocently and suddenly let one rip. She said nothing, but continued reading while I tried to keep a straight face. A moment later she plugged her nose with her index finger and thumb and kept on reading; then I lost it.
Sandy Appleyard writes both fiction and non-fiction: memoirs, self-help, suspense, romance and mystery/police-procedural.
When she isn’t writing books, she writes blogs, reads, exercises and obsessively cleans her house.
Sandy is also an animal lover and gives regularly to local Humane Societies. She lives in Niagara Falls, Canada with her husband, two daughters and her cat.
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The author is giving away 5 signed copies of her book!