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Wednesday, October 4, 2017

BOOK BLITZ: Cars, Coffee, and a Badass Ninja Toilet By K.C. Hilton

Cars, Coffee, and a Badass Ninja Toilet
By K.C. Hilton
Genre: Humor, Satire


If you deal with customers day after day who drive you insane, give you reasons to drink alcohol, or make you want to quit your job, this book is definitely for you.

A chaotic and hilarious portrait of a used car lot owner, Julia Karr. Her feisty attitude and fearless approach to managing a business, how it affects her home life and dealings with customers will have you scratching your head about humanity.


Seeing the business world through Julia's jaded eyes may convince you that owning a business isn't what it’s cracked up to be. Her attitude is drenched with sarcasm and dipped in crazy sauce. She blames the car lot.











About the Author

K.C. is a wife, mother and manages the family business. K.C.’s husband refers to her as Hobbit size and claims that she is “nuttier than a fruit cake.” She owns a complete set of pink tools, believes in aliens and secretly wants to become a badass ninja. In her spare time, she can be found daydreaming about leaving work early to eat chocolate and drink wine. Sometimes her dreams come true.












An Excerpt

By the time I finished my first cup of coffee, I noticed a vehicle parked near the office door. The office didn’t open for another fifteen minutes and I wasn’t in a big hurry to start my day. As I poured a second cup of coffee, I watched another vehicle pull onto the lot and park.

“Today is going to be a busy day,” I murmured to Foxy Boxy, which somehow excited her and made her start jumping around like a rabbit. She probably thought I was offering her a treat. I looked at her cute puppy-dog eyes and caved. “I might as well go see what they want.” I sighed, then tossed her a treat.

As I walked toward the office door, I noticed an SUV pull onto the lot and park near the entrance. The first customer simply wanted to make a payment, only taking a few minutes of my time.

The second customer wanted more information about a truck parked near the garage, not ready for sale, yet. It was a repo vehicle.

“I’d like to know how much your husband would sell that truck for?” she asked.

Oh, my goddess, another woman who thought only a man could run a car lot. If she continued with the only-a-man-can-run-a-car-lot attitude, I’d have to teach her a lesson.

“I can give you a price,” I said in a cheerful tone. “One thousand dollars, plus the transfer costs—which includes the sales tax—and it’s all yours,” I said.

By the look on her face, I knew the price was too good for her to pass up. Even with the higher miles, it was a four-wheel drive and the truck retailed for five times that amount. It was a repo and I didn’t mind selling it cheaper. One person’s loss was another’s gain. The truck needed to be cleaned up, and have the exterior driver’s door handle replaced, but the low price more than compensated for that. The handle could be purchased on eBay for about twenty dollars. I wasn’t sure if it needed any mechanical work, but Tiny didn’t indicate any problems when he brought it to the lot. Even if the truck needed some work, it was still worth it, as is.

As she made her way to the truck, I glanced at the SUV parked near the entrance and noticed a young man making his way toward me. The truck lady would be fine for a few minutes without me, so I decided to meet the young man halfway.

“I’d like to test-drive that SUV in the front row,” he said. He gestured toward it as he approached me.

“Okay, I’ll go get the key.” I made my way back toward the office.

Truck Lady was hot on my heels and followed me inside. “Are you going to clean it?” she asked.

“No,” I said. “For that price, you can clean it yourself.” Truck Lady looked hurt. It wouldn’t kill her to take it home and clean it herself or run it through a car wash. “If you want us to detail it, then I’m going to raise the price another hundred bucks. Your choice.” That got her thinking. Almost positive she would want to take it for a ride, I snatched the truck key and slid it into my pocket just in case. I pointed to the guy waiting outside. “Let me give that customer this key, so he can go on a test-drive. I’ll be right back.”

As I made my way toward the young man, a woman got out of the passenger side of their SUV, walked around, and hopped into the driver’s seat. I was concerned someone might whip their vehicle into the drive and asked him if she could move it to a parking spot.

“It’s a little dangerous being parked at the entrance,” I said. I handed him the key and he asked about our financing. I answered his questions and let him know that we had recently replaced the battery.

The woman began moving their vehicle and I assumed she would be waiting here until he returned. Their SUV was the same make and model of the one the young man wanted to test-drive, although it was a different color. I took another look and it didn’t have a plate on the back, but it did have a sticker for another car lot here in town.

“Are you test-driving that vehicle?” I asked, as he started the SUV.


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The author is running TWO giveaways!


1. A giveaway for 10 paperback copies 9/1/17-10/15/17 



2. Two Signed Paperbacks with SWAG!




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