BOOK SPOTLIGHT & REVIEW: Golden Gremlin: A Vigorous Push from Misanthropes and Geezers By Rod A Walters

Golden Gremlin: A Vigorous Push from Misanthropes and Geezers
By Rod A Walters
Genre: Nonfiction/Humor

The worlds really needs that push, vigorous or gentle, from misanthropes & geezers, the world’s most valuable golden gremlins. Misanthropes pretend to not like or need other people, but in reality they merely prefer their own company much of the time. Geezers, besides that silly name, also like their own company quite well. Both share the virtue of seeing the world calmly. Written to make Dave Barry, Lily Tomlin, and Ben Stein laugh, Golden Gremlin: A Vigorous Push from Misanthropes and Geezers delivers the wisdom of a calm life, and the wisdom to like most of it and laugh at the rest. Heck, Barry lives in Miami, habitat of geezers,  and Ben Stein is one. You get pointy bite-sized life pointers from experienced gremlins, told in easy bite-size chunks. Laughter included in the price!. Two out of three wouldn’t be bad either.

Life is good! So laugh a little at yourself on the way through these pointy essays, and that will buy your laughing at the world’s simpler parts, guilt free.

Gremlin comprises about 70 short essays bundled into six topic areas:

NATURE: boys, poop, and carbon footprinting

WORDS: the real meaning of Caucasian

KITCHENS: Dollar Store kale

BUSINESS: stakeholders -- through the heart

HISTORY: when Hell froze, and how Earth Day got born

Golden boy gets to be GOLDEN GREMLIN (the ultimate “Gotcha’ last!”)

What things could possibly be more important! 

My Review:

I love this book! I'll lead with that. This series of observational anecdotes are chock full of copious amounts of wit, charm, super-solid writing prowess, and, most importantly, much-needed rationale and a healthy slice of wisdom. Things sorely slipping in this society as we delve ever deeper into this technological abyss and away from once-normal human interaction. Under the surface of this light-hearted series of vignettes, there may lie another meaning. It seems we are sacrificing the profound and astute lessons our elders still have to impart, if only we were listening better. After my over half a century inhabiting this body, I feel that my own children often defer to the internet and empty webfriendships in lieu of connecting instead with those close to them. But I digress. This book is a touching memoir, fact and logic lesson, and funny and quick-paced monologue by one who's made it to the golden years, and lived to tell the tale. I will be seeking a printed copy of this fine book, and will be recommending it to my real life friends. The ones that exist beyond this screen. Five stars!

About the Author 

Rod Walters lives and writes in upstate New York, an excellent place where one can truly prove he can be an all-season writer. Since he wants everybody to be all-season persons no matter what her or his lifestyle looks like, his writing tends sharply toward the practical—without turning into one of those godawful do-it-perfectly-yourself (DIpY) authors. Life, after all, is practical moment by moment. Certainly described “old enough to know better, and he might actually be,” his former life as Army officer, engineer, and administrative assistant could not have been better arranged to write both light and heavier pieces pointing to creating a balanced life. Chuckling at yourself usually makes a good start. Then again, who the heck wants to live a balanced life? He suspects that just about everybody does. That’s why he now writes. Although many friends nudge and badger him to Facebook- and Twitter-it-up, he tries not to spend 15 hours a day with circular and brain-dimming keyboarding activity. His books work better.

Links: 

Website: http://www.iewriter.com/

On Amazon: http://amzn.to/2A6Sb6r 

BOOK BLITZ: MindField By DS Kane

MindField
By DS Kane
Genre: Thriller

The eighth book in the gripping technothriller series, Spies Lie, perfect for fans who love Robert Ludlum, Lee Child, and Barry Eisler.

When Stanford University sophomore and budding computer hacker Ann Sashakovich meets senior Glen Sarkov, the CEO of a budding new startup, she is smitten. Glen is young, bright, and going places, and his innovative tech startup is seeking money to get them off the ground. But when Glen and his team find a venture capitalist willing to give them money, the offer turns out too good to be true. Worse, it seems the strings attached to the funding are tangled in a conspiracy deadlier than they can imagine…


Meanwhile, the world's intelligence services have all been looking for a less-obvious way to fund weapons development, reaching out to entrepreneurs to help them create new tech. When they find tech capable of being weaponized, they have the creators murdered before taking control of the company for their own use. Now the lives of hundreds of the world’s brightest entrepreneurs hang in the balance, and Glen Sarkov is next on the list to die. Can Ann, Cassandra Sashakovich, and Jon Sommers figure out who at the CIA is ordering these killings, or will the CIA's contract assassins wipe them off the Earth? 

Author Bio

DS Kane worked in the field of covert intelligence for over a decade. During that time, his cover was his real name, and he was on the faculty of NYU's Stern Graduate School of Business. He traveled globally for clients including government and military agencies, the largest banks, and Fortune 100 corporations, and while in-country, he did side jobs for the government. One of the banks DS Kane investigated housed the banking assets of many of the world's intelligence agencies and secret police forces, including the CIA and NSA. Much of his work product was pure but believable fiction, lies he told, and truths he concealed. Secrets that--if revealed--might have gotten him killed. When his cover got blown, he fled the field and moved 3,000 miles. 

Now, DS Kane is a former spy, still writing fiction. Through his novels, he exposes the way intelligence agencies craft fiction for sale to sway their countries and manipulate their national policy, driving countries into dangerous conflicts. 

To learn more about DS Kane and his books, visit www.dskane.com or join him on Facebook for book giveaways and details on espionage at: 

https://www.facebook.com/DSKaneAFormerSpyStillTellingLies.

https://www.facebook.com/DSKaneAFormerSpyStillTellingLies

https://twitter.com/DSKaneThriller

The author is giving away an ebook copy of MindField to one lucky reader!

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COVER REVEAL: Warning Call (The Black Pages, #2) By Danny Bell

Warning Call (The Black Pages, #2)

By Danny Bell

Genre: NA Urban Fantasy

Elana Black. Saving the day even if she has to tear a hole in the universe to do it.

An unbeatable mythological horror has its sights set on Elana, and that’s not the worst of her problems. Gods want to use her, shadowy agents want to eliminate her, and a powerful sorcerer wants to kill her; all as she rushes to stop an event which portends the death of her best friend. It’s all catching up with her, and just in time for Christmas. Elana is going to have to figure out how all of it is connected but she’s in over her head, outnumbered, and running out of time.

And she always thought magic would make her life easier.

Links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ElanaRuthBlack/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ElanaRuthBlack

Amazon Author Page: http://amzn.to/2zZy9KD

Excerpt:

Okay, so cats like her and obey her commands. Oh god, please tell me more weirdness didn’t just walk into my life. “So, how do you know Claire?” I asked hopefully, silently praying for a mundane answer like High School, the gym, or prison.

“I don’t,” She said confidently.

It was only just now that I got a good look at her and a wave of panic swept through me. She was tall, nearly a foot taller than me. I’d picked up on that when she was at the door, but maybe it was the sun in my eyes or the fact that I wasn’t fully awake yet, but I hadn’t pieced together the rest of it. I would have placed her in her early forties, a couple of years older than Claire maybe, but she looked as if she had been assembled in a factory. Something was decidedly not human about her, and it was unsettling that I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. She had thick, straight hair that was the kind of blonde you only seemed to see in eighties movies. Her eyes were a deep sapphire, and aside from an amount of gold that would have bordered on excess on anyone else, I noticed something else. White shoes, a white pleated linen skirt, a white blouse.

Oh...no. “Did Roger send you because I wouldn’t accept his offer?” I asked, not breaking eye contact.

She raised an eyebrow at that as the beginnings of a grin touched the edge of her lips. “No one ever sends me anywhere,” She said bemusedly.

I wasn’t ready for a fight, especially not when some hapless customer could wander in any second now. And something about her felt decidedly not human, what if she was Fae like Bres? A fight with one of the Fae could get ugly in a hurry for everyone around. Mostly for myself.

“Kind of stupid for one Gardener to come alone,” I said shaking the blister shield out of my wrist. I was trying to sound confident, but I was terror-stricken by the unknown elements here, and it was all I could do to bluff. “It didn’t go so well for the last one who came at me alone.”

The woman couldn’t help herself as she let out a small laugh. “You fashion yourself a sorcerer?” She asked, and with a dismissive wave of her hand, my shield was gone. Just gone! “Child, sorcery is but one of my domains, and you are no more a sorcerer than any of those pretenders you are so quick to associate me with. The people of this realm wield magic that is not their own.”

I stiffened as she spoke. “Okay then,” I said slowly. “If you’re not a Gardener, then what are you.”

“Goddess.”

“Well, December is free coffee for deities month, so lucky you,” I said, trying to force a laugh.

“Is it really?” She asked. “Because I would love to try the house blend.”

“It is now,” I said, moving to make her a cup. Whoever she was, she was severely out of my league, and the best thing I could do was to keep her talking.

“Please make yourself a cup as well and join me, we have business to discuss.”

“Cream or sugar?” I asked pouring the cups. She indicated a quick no as I brought them over. “So, shouldn’t I know who I’m doing business with?”

“Indeed. I am Freyja,” She replied, sipping her coffee. “And this is quite the beverage you've made.”

“Thanks, I’ve been practicing,” I said taking a sip of my own.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Freyja asked, warmly somehow. Not disappointed, or angry or defensive. “Even with everything you’ve seen and done?”

“No offense, but I’ve met a lot of magic users lately, and it’s not like someone wouldn’t just claim to be a god if they wanted to look bigger than they are. You’re definitely stronger than me, but that doesn’t mean I have to believe whatever you say at face value. I met a guy named Bres earlier this year, and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t the Demon King.”

Freyja chuckled at that. “Oh, the things I could tell you about Bres,” She said taking a sip. “Did you know that historians mistranslated, and he’s actually the Lemon King?”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I snapped back. “Citrus trees aren’t native to- Oh damn it.”

BOOK SPOTLIGHT: The Case of the Flying Note By Alice Cotton

The Case of the Flying Note
By Alice Cotton
Genre: Children's fantasy adventure

Come dive into The Case of the Flying Note and read Alice Cotton’s imaginative musical tale where Detective Reed has to track down Presto, a newly written note who has flown out of his music. Detective Reed is hot on Presto’s trail as the flying note enters Sound City, the land where all music symbols live. Newly written notes sometimes do this and because they have wings, it is difficult to keep up with them. But Detective Reed, a highly trained half note, knows what to do.

The detective follows Presto into clouds of lost music notes far up in the sky where thunderclouds are booming. These lost notes are floating all around Reed when suddenly Presto plunges straight down towards the ground and into a strange green forest populated by hoards of musical rests.  Of course, Detective Reed is close behind him but never catches up with Presto. Why doesn’t Reed just grab him? Where is Presto going?

Detective Reed watches as Presto dives into the large petals of a singing pink flower and discovers an underground music academy within the flower’s roots. Reed makes his way into one of the school’s classrooms and almost gets hit by the shooting arrows of C sharps and then in another room, he witnesses a rare gathering of violins. Whatever are they doing? Finally, the flying note reveals the reason he flew out of his music. This inspires Detective Reed to use a most unusual, inventive strategy to help Presto solve his musical problem.


Who knew music symbols could be so interesting and fun? Readers learn music concepts as they zoom along with the detective. AND Detective Reed’s adventures continue with Reed’s next story, The Secret at Willow Wail, and again, in the upcoming Adventures on a Blue Moon.  Each story addresses a different musical concept as readers fill their minds with the fanciful characters that live in Sound City.

About the Author

In the beginning, in Cleveland, Ohio, ten year old Alice Cotton had her head stuck under the piano lid of her father’s baby grand piano, plucking the strings and listening to all the resonating sounds they made. For hours! Then, later, as a teen, after playing clarinet in a school marching band, she started performing and writing songs with her new guitar.  Unbeknownst to her she was also in the process of meeting her future music partners who would be accompanying her in creating successful music acts around the U.S.

Alice moved to New Orleans, where she collaborated with childhood friend, Cora McCann (Writer & editor, Content Marketing, Cleveland Clinic). They wrote songs and performed them as a duo acoustic guitar act called Sunstorm. They performed in some of the most popular tourist clubs in the New Orlean’s French Quarter.

Then, in Oregon, Alice co-led one of the top performing night club bands  that she shared with another childhood friend, Lisa Coffey, (harpist/instructor). Of course, their music was quite original with the sound of harp strings next to the guitar, bass and drums. Their band, Night Music, worked hard to become one of the top working bands in the American northwest. Alice completed their sound by playing electric guitar as a rhythm and lead player.

Later, she worked with a variety of other ensembles that played on weekends for dances and private clubs. Alice became one of the only female lead guitarists in Oregon.  

Along with performing, Alice also taught math, music and art to young students in various public and private schools, always encouraging her students to pursue their studies in fun, creative ways.

Alice Cotton’s goal now is to tantalize young people (as she was at age 10) into pursuing a life of music and art. Hence she writes books such as The Case of the Flying Note for all kids, young and old but particularly geared toward 8 - 11 year olds. 

Links:

Alice Cotton Books - https://www.facebook.com/Alicecottonbooks
Detective Reed - https://www.facebook.com/soundcityproductions/ 
Twitter: @AliceAlicot
Website: https://alicecotton.com/


On Amazon: http://amzn.to/2zKfgYN 



Excerpt: Minuet’s Story (chapter 2)

From her place in the music, Minuet began her story, her voice clear and sure. 

“Well, a musician named Bell was writing a new piece called Guitar in the Clouds.  It’s a little bit jazzy and a little bit classical, and I am in it, as are all these other notes.”

“I see,” said Detective Reed as he wrote in his notebook. “So what happened?”

“When Bell left to have some dinner, Presto, the note next to me, turned from his normal black to a rather sad looking grey-blue color and flew off the page of music. He went out there!”

Minuet pointed to an open window next to the music stand and through it Reed could see a vine of pale yellow flowers and the green branches of a pine tree.

“Please go on,” said Detective Reed, though he was starting to get the picture. He had seen this happen before and it is why he went to Flying School when he was learning how to be a detective.

Minuet went on with her story. 

“When Presto left, I yelled for him to come back. I really want Bell to finish writing her composition so all of us notes will be heard. But how can she finish writing the music with a note missing? It will sound all wrong and Bell will give up and it’ll be the end of us all!”

For a moment, Minuet became so upset she couldn’t speak.

“I understand,” Detective Reed said. “What happened then?” 

“Well, the other notes and I decided we had to bring Presto back, so I volunteered,“ Minuet continued. 

“I flew out of the window and looked right and left, up and down, and all around until I spotted him shooting across the sky yelling,  ‘Nooooo!’

“I followed his voice and then I saw him fly into a blue house with a big yellow door. I pressed against the door and heard, ‘Ah, eh, ee, oh, ew,’ the same sounds Bell uses to warm up her voice. So I knew a singer was in there.” 

Minuet’s forehead wrinkled and she paused while Detective Reed continued to write in his notebook.

“Oh now I remember,” she said. “I found an open window and went into the house.  I saw a young man standing next to an upright piano, and as he was singing, colorful notes were leaping around the room. I couldn’t imagine why, but it looked like fun.”

“All notes that are sung do this,” Reed informed her.

“I see,” Minuet said, her eyes wide. 

Then she continued. “I saw a cheerful-looking green note sitting on top of the piano so I joined her. She was very friendly and said, ‘Hi, would you like to bounce around the room with me?’

“‘No, but thank you for asking,’ I said. Then I explained that I was looking for a grey-blue note that had left his page of music. ‘Have you seen him?’ I asked.

“The green note looked around the room, and pointed. There was a marble sculpture sitting on top of the piano and on top of the statue was Presto!

“I instantly glided over to him, but I wasn’t sure what to do, so I wrapped my stem around his stem and gently pulled. I was so relieved when he came with me back to Bell’s house. I placed him onto his spot on the page and asked him why he flew away.

“Presto sat quietly in his place, but as soon as I let him go, he yelled ‘Noooooo,’ and took off again! I couldn’t believe it!” cried Minuet, and she flung up her wings.

“Hmm, I have seen this before,” Reed said. “New notes do this when something isn’t right with the music. So what did you do?”

“Luckily, Bell was done composing for the day. So the other notes and I agreed that I should go and look for him again.” 

“Really!” exclaimed Detective Reed, trying not to smile. ”You should be a detective! So tell me what happened next.”

“Well, another note on the page handed me your card and said ‘Let’s try this!’

“I did what it said and here you are!”

Minuet handed Detective Reed the card and he read it over. It was one of his cards, all right. It said,

MISSING A NOTE? 
CALL DETECTIVE REED
by following these instructions:
1. Sing a limerick about your problem.
You will be immediately connected to  
Detective Reed.
2. Detective Reed will hear your limerick 
and ask where you are.
3. Hum the music you are in and he will  
come to you at once.

Reed handed the card back to Minuet, who was still visibly worried. He knew that the loss of this note could be a disaster for Minuet and the other notes in the piece. Composers often give up and never finish writing their music when a note disappears, and the sheet music often ends up in the trash. No wonder Minuet was frightened. 

Reed put his pencil and notebook into his pocket.

“I have what I need. I will find your note,” he said with confidence.

He examined the empty space next to Minuet and then he looked around the room until his gaze stopped at a spot right above the music stand. He stared. He squinted. Then he glared.

Minuet and the other notes twisted around and stared at the same spot, where a grey-blue blur was climbing from behind and onto the top of the music stand.

“OOM PAH PAH,” Detective Reed heard the young note say.

“Oh no!” Minuet exclaimed. ”He is going to escape!”

Sure enough, red lines appeared in the air and turned into a red door. A profusion of musical sounds could be heard as the door opened.  Reed immediately leapt up and followed the departing note as he flew through the portal to Sound City. 

“So Detective Reed can fly,” Minuet said, her eyes wide. 

“Grown-up notes can’t fly,” she said to the note sitting next to her. “They don’t have wings anymore!  How does he do that?” 


The note next to Minuet shrugged his shoulders and they both stared, while, in the beat of an eighth note, Presto entered the doorway and skyrocketed into Sound City with Detective Reed hot on his trail. The red door closed behind them and they were gone.

BOOK BLITZ: Last Class Citizen By Lex Ramsay

Last Class Citizen

By Lex Ramsay

Genre: Alternative history

They’ve gained their freedom from the South. But what if their new freedom is all a lie?

Patrick Edgerton, leader of the Railway Association, has succeeded in the monumental task of freeing slaves from the once mighty Southern Republic. Following the fall of the South, the UN has decreed that the South must pay for the care of any former slaves. With hope finally on the horizon, Patrick and those he helped free begin what will be a long journey towards equality and rehabilitation.

But the wheels of power are turning in the US capitol. With the UN’s proclamation against the South, the President of the US sees a way to bleed the South economically dry: by keeping the former slaves under a new, more subtle form of oppression, it will force the South to continue to pay for them until they have nothing left. This conspiracy sets off a deceitful chain reaction to construct a system of ghettos that keeps former slaves in a cycle of destitution and despair, ultimately creating second class citizens.

With everything they’d worked so hard to achieve on the line, Patrick and a handful of others set out to ensure that the former slaves don’t become entrapped in this new kind of slavery; a slavery as bad as what they’d left behind.

Full of powerful themes still prevalent in society today, Lex Ramsay weaves an eerily realistic story of race manipulation and marginalization, and those brave and willing enough to continue the fight.

About the Author

Lex Ramsay is the author of Serial Misogyny, a gripping literary suspense, and the alternative history Southern Republic. She is a recovering lawyer, an avid but not terribly talented pianist, a student of Portuguese, and escapee from Corporate America where she cleaned up after other peoples' messes and generally sold her soul. Now, she's buying it back, one word at a time, while making plans to move to Brazil with her 1 husband, 2 dogs, 2 horses and 2 cats (last count), once the Portuguese lessons kick in. 

To learn more about Lex and her books, visit https://www.lexramsayauthor.com/. 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LexRamsayAuthor/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LexRamsayAuthor

Website: https://www.lexramsayauthor.com

The author is giving away an ebook copy of Last Class Citizen!

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GUEST POST: Downsized With Extreme Prejudice By David Hanrahan

Downsized With Extreme Prejudice

By David Hanrahan

Genre: Adult Crime/ Suspense

Bradford Baxton III, is the CEO of Amalgamated Worldwide Enterprises. His ruthless acquisition policies earned him the title, "King of Downsizing."

His corrupt corporate empire begins to crumble when his Chief Financial Officer is brutally murdered. What follows is a deadly downsizing campaign at Amalgamated Worldwide Enterprises, leaving its top officers wondering who is next on the killer’s list.

Bill Coine, a retired Massachusetts State Police Detective Lieutenant, is lured out of retirement to investigate and soon solves the case. Or does he? What follows is an exciting and suspenseful story with clever twists and turns, and a surprise ending.

GUEST POST:

The all-important process that provides the foundation for our writing efforts is the subject of this blog. Creative writing requires much more than just good ideas and a laptop. Unless you are writing news articles or legal briefs, both of which have strict deadlines, your creative writing efforts might get started but never reach the finish line without self-discipline. Time is your enemy, no matter how much time you think you have. Unless you remain dedicated to your self-imposed deadlines you may lose continuity of plot or worse. You may lose interest in the project. Many writers impose a strict requirement that they produce a certain amount of usable words each day. For better or worse, I do not. I try to set aside a minimum of four hours per day for writing my novel. Look at it as your creative writing workday. I have discovered that unless my creative juices are flowing and I can’t stop, more than four hours is fatiguing. Instead of a word limit, I have a good idea when I have written a useful addition to my book. By the way, I do create a loose outline of the story; very loose! I let the characters and plot change as the characters dictate; and they do! Because you do have a life, do not ignore the time you have while travelling. Buses, planes and trains are good places for writing so long as you have your laptop or writing pad with you. Use that time effectively. Let us not ignore writer’s block. When you think you have run out of ideas, believe me you have not. Stop banging your head against the wall and use the time to go back over your earlier drafts for editing and re-writing. Seeing what you have already written usually unlocks the block; at least it does so for me. Finally, get used to the idea that your first draft is actually not likely to be your last.. You must discipline yourself to maintain a critical eye throughout the effort. Do any of your characters need more development? Is your dialogue authentic and interesting? If you stay loyal to the process, you should find yourself finishing what you started; an interesting and very readable novel. My debut novel. “Downsized – With Extreme Prejudice”, was considered to be “A sound mystery fronted by an immensely likable detective primed for a sequel.” – Kirkus Reviews.

About the Author

David G. Hanrahan was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1936. His Irish work ethic began early. When he was fourteen, Hanrahan started his first business venture selling freshly baked soft pretzels in front of the Graham Avenue and Grand Street movie theaters. By the time he finished college, he had wrapped shirts in a laundry, sold a new German beer entry into the New York market, was a mailman for the Christmas rush in the old Brooklyn Postal Zone 11 and did a stint as an elevator operator in the United States Steel Building on Wall Street. Hanrahan is a graduate of the prestigious Brooklyn Technical High school. During his high school years, Hanrahan was managing editor of his high school newspaper, a soloist with the glee club, and sang in the tenor section of the New York All-City Chorus with four performances in Carnegie Hall.

He graduated from Pratt Institute in Brooklyn with a Bachelor's Degree in Industrial Design in 1958. He received the Organization of the Army medal and was designated a Distinguished Military Graduate. While in the Army, Hanrahan graduated from the Airborne School at Fort Benning, Georgia and the Jungle Warfare School in Fort Sherman, Panama Canal Zone. In 1962, while stationed in the Panama Canal Zone, he was honored by the people of a small Panamanian town for helping them achieve their dream of a new school. The inauguration of the "Lieutenant David G. Hanrahan School.- Amistad -Panama -Estados Unidos" was attended by the President of Panama, the American Ambassador to Panama and the senior army staff.  After 5 years in the United States Army, attaining the rank of Captain, he attended Boston University Law School where he received his Juris Doctor Degree in 1966. He served on the Boston University Law Review where he was elected to the position of Note Editor.

Married with two young children while attending law school full time,  Hanrahan worked as a reporter for the Quincy Patriot Ledger. He spent one year as an attorney for the National Labor Relations Board in Washington, D.C. before returning to Boston to begin his career as a Boston trial lawyer. Hanrahan, a distinguished trial attorney, is a member of the Boston and Massachusetts Bar Associations and is a fellow in the American College of Trial Lawyers.

Music has always been an important part of Hanrahan's life. He is a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society and for the last 15 years has sung lead in a barbershop quartet “Spindrift." Now, writing suspenseful and riveting court room novels occupies an important part of his life.

Links:

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/DHanrahanAuthor

Website: www.davidhanrahan.com

On Amazon: http://amzn.to/2xKwwz9

On B&N: http://bit.ly/2yEqYmx

BOOK BLITZ: Cars, Coffee, and a Badass Ninja Toilet By K.C. Hilton

Cars, Coffee, and a Badass Ninja Toilet
By K.C. Hilton
Genre: Humor, Satire

If you deal with customers day after day who drive you insane, give you reasons to drink alcohol, or make you want to quit your job, this book is definitely for you.

A chaotic and hilarious portrait of a used car lot owner, Julia Karr. Her feisty attitude and fearless approach to managing a business, how it affects her home life and dealings with customers will have you scratching your head about humanity.


Seeing the business world through Julia's jaded eyes may convince you that owning a business isn't what it’s cracked up to be. Her attitude is drenched with sarcasm and dipped in crazy sauce. She blames the car lot.

About the Author

K.C. is a wife, mother and manages the family business. K.C.’s husband refers to her as Hobbit size and claims that she is “nuttier than a fruit cake.” She owns a complete set of pink tools, believes in aliens and secretly wants to become a badass ninja. In her spare time, she can be found daydreaming about leaving work early to eat chocolate and drink wine. Sometimes her dreams come true.

An Excerpt

By the time I finished my first cup of coffee, I noticed a vehicle parked near the office door. The office didn’t open for another fifteen minutes and I wasn’t in a big hurry to start my day. As I poured a second cup of coffee, I watched another vehicle pull onto the lot and park.

“Today is going to be a busy day,” I murmured to Foxy Boxy, which somehow excited her and made her start jumping around like a rabbit. She probably thought I was offering her a treat. I looked at her cute puppy-dog eyes and caved. “I might as well go see what they want.” I sighed, then tossed her a treat.

As I walked toward the office door, I noticed an SUV pull onto the lot and park near the entrance. The first customer simply wanted to make a payment, only taking a few minutes of my time.

The second customer wanted more information about a truck parked near the garage, not ready for sale, yet. It was a repo vehicle.

“I’d like to know how much your husband would sell that truck for?” she asked.

Oh, my goddess, another woman who thought only a man could run a car lot. If she continued with the only-a-man-can-run-a-car-lot attitude, I’d have to teach her a lesson.

“I can give you a price,” I said in a cheerful tone. “One thousand dollars, plus the transfer costs—which includes the sales tax—and it’s all yours,” I said.

By the look on her face, I knew the price was too good for her to pass up. Even with the higher miles, it was a four-wheel drive and the truck retailed for five times that amount. It was a repo and I didn’t mind selling it cheaper. One person’s loss was another’s gain. The truck needed to be cleaned up, and have the exterior driver’s door handle replaced, but the low price more than compensated for that. The handle could be purchased on eBay for about twenty dollars. I wasn’t sure if it needed any mechanical work, but Tiny didn’t indicate any problems when he brought it to the lot. Even if the truck needed some work, it was still worth it, as is.

As she made her way to the truck, I glanced at the SUV parked near the entrance and noticed a young man making his way toward me. The truck lady would be fine for a few minutes without me, so I decided to meet the young man halfway.

“I’d like to test-drive that SUV in the front row,” he said. He gestured toward it as he approached me.

“Okay, I’ll go get the key.” I made my way back toward the office.

Truck Lady was hot on my heels and followed me inside. “Are you going to clean it?” she asked.

“No,” I said. “For that price, you can clean it yourself.” Truck Lady looked hurt. It wouldn’t kill her to take it home and clean it herself or run it through a car wash. “If you want us to detail it, then I’m going to raise the price another hundred bucks. Your choice.” That got her thinking. Almost positive she would want to take it for a ride, I snatched the truck key and slid it into my pocket just in case. I pointed to the guy waiting outside. “Let me give that customer this key, so he can go on a test-drive. I’ll be right back.”

As I made my way toward the young man, a woman got out of the passenger side of their SUV, walked around, and hopped into the driver’s seat. I was concerned someone might whip their vehicle into the drive and asked him if she could move it to a parking spot.

“It’s a little dangerous being parked at the entrance,” I said. I handed him the key and he asked about our financing. I answered his questions and let him know that we had recently replaced the battery.

The woman began moving their vehicle and I assumed she would be waiting here until he returned. Their SUV was the same make and model of the one the young man wanted to test-drive, although it was a different color. I took another look and it didn’t have a plate on the back, but it did have a sticker for another car lot here in town.

“Are you test-driving that vehicle?” I asked, as he started the SUV.

Links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KcHiltonAuthor/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kchilton1 

Website: www.kc-hilton.com

Amazon: http://a.co/hRE1R1p 

Hardback B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1127020241?ean=9780692937907

The author is running TWO giveaways!

1. A giveaway for 10 paperback copies 9/1/17-10/15/17 

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35532786-cars-coffee-and-a-badass-ninja-toilet?from_search=true

2. Two Signed Paperbacks with SWAG!

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BOOK SPOTLIGHT: The Amy Binegar-Kimmes-Lyle Book of Failures By Amy Lyle

The Amy Binegar-Kimmes-Lyle Book of Failures

By Amy Lyle

Genre: Funny Memoir

THE AMY BINEGAR-KIMMES-LYLE BOOK OF FAILURES is a humor memoir. If you have ever failed at love, finances, been fired, not fit in, self-diagnosed yourself with disorders and conditions and/or said, "I really need to get my s*** together," this is the book for you.

You may appreciate your own dysfunction a little more as you take a journey through Amy’s debacles including: “I Was Not Talking to You,” where Amy mistakes a handsome man waving at her as a potential suitor but in reality, he was only trying to inform her that her belt was dragging on the freeway and “In the Neighborhood,” where members of a cult moving in concurred with a suspicious decline in the cat population. You will relish the chapters entitled “Calls from Sharon,” where Amy’s best friend rants about her kids not getting a fair shot because public schools are ‘so political,’ as her OB/GYN reported her vagina was ‘too clean’ and how the most eligible bachelor from 1982 married a whore. Enjoy “I’m Going to Kill You,” where Amy compares her lack of sleep from her husband’s snoring to CIA agents extracting secrets from a POW. Feel 20-32% better about your own life after reading “Getting Divorced Sucks,” where 911 was called after Amy had an adverse reaction from taking Xanax.

The book has been featured in Scoop OTP, Georgia Followers, The Atlanta Journal Constitution, Points North Atlanta Magazine, Just4Fun Radio and the WXIA-TV morning show, "Atlanta & Company.”

Ten percent of book proceeds are donated to The Place of Forsyth County, a non-profit helping people to become self-sufficient.

About the Author

Amy Lyle is an author, comedienne, actor and screenwriter who works as a playwright for a large nonprofit in Alpharetta, Ga. Obsessed with fellow female comedians, Amy developed a writing style that is self-deprecating, hilarious and slightly neurotic.

Although she describes her book, The Amy Binegar-Kimmes-Lyle Book of Failures, as a “how not to” book, her message of “You are not a failure, you’re just having a little bit of trouble right now” is prompting people to share how the book made them feel (#bookoffailures), including the relief of knowing they are not alone in the world of missteps. Fan posts of people reading the book have been popping up from all over the world, including Lake Como, Italy, Amsterdam and The Great Wall of China.

The funny memoir, dealing with everything from getting fired to trying to blend a family, has been described as relatable and authentic, while sparking conversations about how we all handle failure.

The author has been featured in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Points North magazine and the WXIA-TV morning show, "Atlanta & Company,” in addition to writing a monthly column for My Forsyth magazine.

Amy grew up in Marietta, Ohio, in the heart of Appalachia, a place known for a population that is partial to moonshine and prone to acts of violence. She currently lives in Cumming, Ga., with her second husband, Peter, lots of teenagers and a large dog. Ten percent of book proceeds are donated to The Place of Forsyth County, a non-profit helping people to become self-sufficient.

To learn more, visit www.amylyle.me/.

Twitter: @amylyle
FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/amylyle.me/

On Amazon: http://amzn.to/2vZg1xn

On Goodreads: http://bit.ly/2woXefR

On B&N: http://bit.ly/2w5hyjY

BOOK SPOTLIGHT & REVIEW: The Quieting West By Gordon Gravley

The Quieting West
By Gordon Gravley
Genre: Literary / Western / Historical

Book Description

This is the story of two cowboys, Billy Colter and Thomas Andrew Benton, in the rapidly changing world of the early 1900’s. Despite the forty-year difference in their ages, they become close friends in a brief time. After losing their jobs as ranch hands in Utah, they head to Denver, once old man Thomas’ stomping ground. There, Thomas spends time with Ellen Marie, a “soiled dove” he’s known all her life, while young Billy experiences the newest form of entertainment: nickelodeons.

Thomas soon receives a job offer from an old friend, and the two head to Arizona, expecting more ranch work. What they discover is a renegade group of silent film makers. Billy and Thomas are hired to protect the crew and their equipment from Patents Agents hunting down the illegal use of movie cameras. Before long, the cowboys-now-hired-guns are involved in the movie-making process. When they are lured to a world of great enchantment and seduction—Hollywood!—they find their lives forever changed. And not necessarily for the better.

It is a story of truth, fiction, and the disillusionment between the two. A story woven of humor, romance, and tragedy.

My Review:

My wife thinks I am somewhat of a history buff and I have to agree with her. The Quieting West was a complimentary fit to the type of books I regularly indulge in. An additional surprise I found in Mr. Gravley’s book was the characters’ shift from ranch hands to working in the motion picture industry. I worked in the film world myself as a scenic artist, so this turned into a phenomenal reading experience. Another interesting parallel is the shift from the plains of Colorado to the streets of Los Angeles, which I have also experienced myself! A kinship from start to finish...  Mr. Gravely has a clear grasp of this time period and refined characters. Five Stars.

About the Author

Gordon Gravley has been making up stories all his life. The dystopian Gospel for the Damned was his first novel. Born in Phoenix, Arizona, Gordon moved around – California; Colorado; Alaska; Northern Arizona – before eventually settling in Seattle, Washington. Calling the Northwest his home since 1998, he doesn’t expect to be moving elsewhere anytime soon. There, he’ll continue to make up stories, and live with his wife and son. 

Links:

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Gordon-Gravley-537843332916956/

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/gordongravley 

Website: www.gordongravley.com

On Amazon: http://amzn.to/2eVtfCz 

An excerpt:

He looked at me, turned away, and then looked back. “You look familiar. What pictures have you been in?” he said to me.

I was stumped. I never knew the titles of any of the movies I’d been in. “I can’t rightly recall,” I told him. “I was Morgan Earp in one about that gunfight in Tombstone. Mostly, I rode and fell a lot.”

That was all the résumé I needed. The skinny man led me into the building, down a long corridor, and finally, onto an open lot.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Billy Colter.”

“That’s a good name,” he replied, nodding his approval. Then he told me to wait while he went to talk to a gentleman who I took to be the director.

A moment later the skinny man returned. “Okay, Billy. Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to get on that horse there, and you’re going to ride out to the end of the street there. Then you’ll ride back this way, as fast as you can, and then stop the horse so suddenly that you fall off into that big water trough there. We made it over-sized so that you’ll be able to hit it better. You got all that?”

I had it. It was nothing different than I had done for Grady. I got on that horse with confidence. It was a skittish one, what with all the people and activities going on, but it took my commands just fine, and we went down to the end of the street just like we were told.

I waited a moment, set my sights on that over-sized trough, and then kicked my horse into a full run. All the time I was thinking about what Anna Beth had taught me: Do it the way Charles would do it. And I did. I must’ve soared fifteen feet from the saddle to the water-filled trough, my arms and legs flailing. I turned my body at the last moment and hit the water on my back. I sent a tidal wave of a splash up and outward, soaking anything and anyone within ten feet.

“What the hell are you doing?” the skinny man shouted at me.

I stood, as drenched as a drowned calf. “What you told me to do,” I answered.

“Yes, but not when! The director didn’t say action! We weren’t ready!”

Alan Grady’s yelling had nothing on this fellow’s. He may have been skinny but his lungs were mighty.

“Mendoza!” he shouted. Seemingly out of nowhere appeared a young Mexican boy.

“Yes, sir?” he said, like a soldier awaiting orders.

“Take Billy, dry him off and get him a new set of clothes.”

As I was hurried away I could hear—hell, everyone in Edendale probably heard—the skinny man shouting, “Get more water in this trough and clear away this mud!”

I was taken to an area behind the sets where there were racks and racks of clothes. The boy had me wait while he went through them. “How long have you been in movies?” he asked. His voice was high and feminine without any hint of “Mexican” to it.

“About a year, I suppose,” I replied, “in Prescott.”

“Prescott?”

“Arizona.”

His lack of response showed him unimpressed. He laid a shirt and pants on a rickety table beside me. “Try these.”

I quickly removed my clothes, at which the boy averted his eyes with a short, bashful gasp, and I realized he was she, a girl of not more than twelve or thirteen. It was then I could see in her brownish complexion and bright eyes of get-up-and-go and bullishness that she might be quite a pretty young lady if it weren’t for her boyish haircut and attire. I apologized and dressed as quickly as I had undressed.

“You did a great fall, Billy,” she told me.

“Thanks.”

“But you have to follow direction. If it weren’t for how good your fall was they would’ve fired you on the spot.”

“I suppose I got a little excited.”

She shoved me to hurry back to the set, which was good as everyone was impatiently awaiting my return. “What’s your name, again?” I asked her.

“Annie Mendoza.”

Her smile instilled me with the confidence that I could do that fall even better than before, which I did, and that I had made my first friend in California.